Everyone wants that perfect, mind-blowing orgasm — the kind that hits harder and lasts longer.
Regardless of what equipment you're working with, orgasms are considered the peak of a sexual experience. The orgasm releases serotonin and endorphins, which can bring a rush of tremor-inducing pleasure as well as a decrease in stress and anxiety. But it isn't always that easy.
Research suggests that there's still a "pleasure gap" in many sexual experiences. Just over half of women with vaginas consistently climax with a partner. Another nine percent have never experienced an orgasm during intercourse. These numbers are much higher for same-sex partners, but orgasm frequency and intensity is something that many people struggle to achieve, regardless of their sex and orientation.
From medical studies to sex experts and sex therapists, we've compiled the best advice on enhancing an orgasm for all genders. Whether you're looking to get there for the first time or you want to make your big moment even more significant, this comprehensive guide will teach you how to have more intense orgasms.
What Exactly is an Orgasm?
Before we get started, let's break down what an orgasm is. According to the NHS, an orgasm is "a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during sexual activity."
However, according to many sex experts and educators, orgasms aren't that easy to define. It's generally a physical reflex that occurs during sexual arousal. You might experience tightening muscles, pulsing contractions, a rapid heartbeat, tingling throughout the body, and more.
Each climax can feel differently and can vary in intensity and duration. This can depend on the person experiencing the climax, what parts of their body were stimulated, and their level of arousal. While some orgasms may be more potent than others, for the most part, you'll know when you've had one.
Having an orgasm doesn't just offer physical relief. For many, it's an emotional one, too — making you feel more intimate with your partner or releasing stress after a long day.
What Happens During an Orgasm?
For people with vaginas, an orgasm can come from a combination of vaginal, clitoral, and bodily stimulation. During the orgasm itself, your vagina, uterus, and anus contract quickly around 3-15 times, squeezing for less than a second at a time. You may also ejaculate, releasing a white-ish or clear liquid. Don't worry — while there may be traces of urine, the liquid is sterile and usually comes out clear.
For people with penises, an orgasm can come after a period of erection, sexual arousal and stimulation. The arousal signals are sent to the spinal cord and the brain, triggering a nervous system reaction. After the muscles at the base of the penis contract for less than a second, the semen gets released in up to five spurts.
The Orgasm Gap: Penises vs Vaginas
People with penises and vaginas can have significantly different experiences with orgasms. People with penises tend to achieve orgasms more quickly than people with vaginas. Up to 95% of heterosexual men with penises climax regularly during sex, compared to 65% of heterosexual women with vaginas.
However, not all of this is down to biological differences. Women with vaginas in same-sex relationships reported higher rates of orgasms. They also tend to have more orgasms when masturbating than with a partner — one study found 39% reported orgasming through masturbation compared to 6% with a partner. This could be due to a few problems:
- A cultural emphasis on penetrative sex
- Lack of knowledge about the clitoris
- Inadequate sex education
- Lack of communication during sex
- Feelings of shame or discomfort around sex
The bottom line, regardless of your sex and gender identity, not everyone experiences orgasms the same way. While the scientific explanation can go a long way towards breaking it down, orgasms don't have a manual. The key is exploring your body and finding what triggers pleasure for you.
How to Have More Intense Orgasms?
While people with vaginas might not find the orgasm process as effortless as those with penises, orgasms can be intense, long-lasting, and satisfying for all genders and sexes. All it takes is a little bit of experimentation and out-of-the-box thinking to learn how to make orgasms more intense.
Here are a few ways you can elevate your climax:
With a Vagina
The vagina has over 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris alone. Your anatomy is perfectly capable of giving you all the sexual stimulation you need — and more. But just because sex can be excellent with or without an orgasm, there are ways to lengthen, intensity, and multiply a climax for a more explosive experience.
- Focus on Foreplay
An increase in the hormone oxytocin — or the "love drug" — can lead to more intense orgasms. All it takes to get an oxytocin boost is to focus more on foreplay. This means cuddling, hugging, kissing, bonding or other activities to extend your foreplay sessions.
2. Strengthen the Pelvic Floor
There are many ways to stimulate the vagina, but the internal muscles are just as important. Your pelvic floor, a muscle stretching from your pelvis to your pubic bone, sends stimulating signals to the brain when contracted, releasing endorphins.
To find your pelvic muscle, first tense between your legs as if you're trying to stop urinating. Focus on tensing and releasing that muscle to improve your control during sexual activity.
- Don't Be Afraid to Fantasize.
Get yourself in the mood long before you even get started. Taking the time to fantasize — through reading erotica, watching a sexy movie or watching porn — can get the blood flowing down there and prep your body for a powerful sexual experience. One study showed that the more sexual fantasies women have, the more sexual desire they experience.
With a Penis
For people with penises, a lot of the tips still stand. Get intimate with some foreplay, visualize your best sexual fantasy and exercise your pelvic muscles to strengthen orgasmic intensity.
There are also a few strategies just for penises that can take your orgasms to the next level.
- Try Edging
Edging is the practice of stimulating yourself and then quickly cutting off that stimulation just as you are about to orgasm. Then you wait, begin stimulation again and start working your way up to an orgasm. This repeated stimulation and control of the timing of your orgasm can help it build to a thrilling and mind-blowing peak.
- Explore Your Body
It's easy to prioritize the penis during sex, but don't miss out on all the other sensitive areas you can explore.
Try applying pressure to the taint, the strip of skin between the balls and the anus. It's a highly erogenous zone that's highly responsive to sexual stimulation, mainly when it stimulates the prostate gland. Touching, tugging, or licking the testicles and scrotum can create more intense pleasure.
If you're ready to take the next step, the P-spot can unlock a whole new world of pleasure. The P-spot refers to the prostate, an organ located below the bladder. You can stimulate this spot through penetration, fingers, sex toys into the anus or through the skin by massaging the taint.
- Give It a Squeeze
Another way to enhance the sensation is to squeeze the shaft of your penis. This strategy involves placing your thumb and index finger around the shaft of the penis and pressing just before you build up to an orgasm.
With enough practice, squeezing can create the sensation of orgasm without ejaculation, leading to that holy grail of climaxes with a penis: multiple orgasms.
Do Certain Positions Create Stronger Orgasms?
When it comes to positions, there isn't a one-size-fits-all. It might take some experimentation and play before you find the place that works for you. However, there are a few positions known for their orgasmic intensity.
This position allows someone with a vagina to take control of the pace or maximize stimulation. In this position, you can control the depth, create more friction against your clitoris and keep the pace exactly where it needs to be.
Doggy style has it all. For those who enjoy vaginal penetration, it can penetrate even more profound and hit that coveted G-spot. The position allows for plenty of friction against the clitoris for those who want clitoral stimulation. It also provides for some dominance or power play to get both partners excited.
This position takes missionaries up a notch. Begin in missionary and then have the penetrating partner sit back on their ankles with their knees spread wide. While the receiving partner is on their back, they can put their feet flat on the bed and arch up their hips.
The bridge creates deep stimulation and an excellent angle for the clitoris and the G-spot. The penetrating partner also has complete control over the angle and pace.
Sex Toys That Can Help You Achieve a Stronger Orgasm
Whether you're going solo or taking it to the next level with a partner, it takes more than just being in the right mood to reach the big O. Using suitable sex toys can help you achieve the climax you're looking for.
- Clitoral Suction Vibrator
In addition to the standard vibrator experience, clitoral suction vibrators have a nozzle that fits over the clit. Using different speeds, intensities, and patterns, it sucks on the clit, simulating oral sex to intensify the experience.
- Vibrating Cock Ring
The pressure and vibration of a vibrating cock ring offer two toys in one. Not only do you benefit from cutting off blood flow — like the squeeze method mentioned earlier — but the vibrations add an extra kick.
- G-Spot Vibrators
While many people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to complete the experience, triggering the G-spot with a G-spot vibrator can lead you to a whole new level of orgasmic pleasure. These curved toys apply vibration while also allowing you to hit the sweet spot.
- P-Spot Vibrators
The penetrative vibrators aren't just for vaginas. People with penises can also enjoy the curve of a P-spot vibrator that gives your prostate the perfect amount of pressure.
5. Realistic Dildos
For those looking for a more authentic experience, a realistic dildo might do the trick. With a more true-to-life texture — complete with veins and a rounded head — you can get the most out of the penetrative friction.
- Blow Job Simulator
A blow job simulator is a more advanced stroker or fleshlight. Once you've added lube, it applies tightness, pressure, and a pleasant suction to mimic the intensity of oral sex.
- Bullet Vibrators
As a classic choice for masturbation, bullet vibrators are loved for their quiet and discreet nature. But part of what makes them so effective is that these tiny vibrators pack a severe punch — directing all that intensity right onto your clit.
- Anal Beads
If you're beginning to experiment with anal stimulation, silky smooth anal beads give you the flexibility you need to work your way up. This gentle pressure and stimulation can give your orgasms a new edge.
- Anal Vibrators
To step up from anal beads, you can try your hand at anal vibrators instead. With all the intensity of a vibrator — just in a different hole — these toys can take anal stimulation to the next level.
- Chastity Devices
If you're ready to take a walk on the kinkier side, try out a chastity device. The buildup and anticipation can only make your orgasm stronger.
Push Yourself Just the Right Amount
The key to putting yourself in the orgasm zone is to break out of your usual routines. Try new strategies, positions, and sex toys to bring out those intense orgasms you've been waiting for.
While you're pushing for that extra pleasure, it's also important not to stress too much about climaxing. When a mind-blowing orgasm isn't the finish line, you can focus more on being present and connecting with your body. Soak in all the pleasure that comes with loving your body and appreciating the orgasms your body can achieve.
Ready to turn up the heat and try for your most intense climax yet? Take a look at our shop and find new ways to elevate your sex life — from vibrators to fetish accessories and much more.
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Vaginal contractions in female orgasm. (February 1994). Cesk Psychiatry.
Peeing During Sex: Causes, Treatment, and More. (August 2020). Healthline.
Erection Ejaculation: How It Occurs. (November 2020). Cleveland Clinic.
The Orgasm Gap: Simple Truth & Sexual Solutions. (October 2015). Psychology Today.
Here's Everything You Didn't Know About The Vagina. (December 2014). Bustle.
Differential effects of intranasal oxytocin on sexual experiences and partnerMauricio Sordille interactions in couples. (March 2014). Hormones and Behavior.