If you've ever gotten goosebumps from a partner whispering in your ear, you're probably aware of the sexual potential of voice. Phone sex harnesses voice to help people be intimate even when they aren't physically together. 

A 2013 study showed that 46 percent of participants had engaged in phone sex with a committed partner at some point in their lives. With nearly half of people giving phone sex a try, it isn't out of the ordinary. However, it does take some prep work and an open mind. 

What Is Phone Sex?

While most people phone sex means a sexually explicit phone call, clarifying this with your partner is important. Make sure you are on the same page about how phone sex works. Depending on a person's definition, phone sex can encompass:

• Sexting
• ‌Nude video calls
• ‌Sexy phone conversations
• ‌All of the above

The Advantages of Phone Sex

Why do people have phone sex? Phone sex has several advantages that make it worth considering, especially when you find yourself far away from a partner. 

Stay Close Even When Far Away

Phone sex is outstanding for long-distance relationships. Sex can be an essential part of intimacy, and living far apart from your partner makes it harder to come by. With phone sex, you don't have to wait until you are physically together again to get it on. 

Increase Verbal Creativity 

Phone sex forces you to get better at sexy verbal expression, which can help you have more satisfying sex once you see your partner again. While you shouldn't attempt to change your voice for phone calls, having more phone calls with your partner can help you identify which registers of your voice they find the sexiest. 

Indulge in Fantasy

Because phone sex doesn't involve physical touch (except masturbating), it can be a great way to explore sexual fantasies or try role-playing. It can be less intimidating to talk through a kinky sex act over the phone before actually trying it. By letting your mind run wild with imagination as your partner talks, you can get a good idea of whether or not you would be into it in real life. If something gets too intense, you always have the option of hanging up the phone. 

‌Phone sex is an excellent time to role-play or indulge fantasies, but you need to make sure that you are both into it — which is why it's essential to talk about consent.

Consent

Consent is an integral part of all sexual experiences, including phone sex. And since phone sex is such a back and forth experience, you need both partners' enthusiastic participation. 

Bring Up the Topic

There are as many ways to start phone sex as communication styles. If you've talked about your sex preferences with your partner before, try to use what worked then when bringing up phone sex. Keep it casual, and don't pressure them.

Don't bring up phone sex while on the phone with someone and expect to get right into it. Phone sex is best when it's planned. Give your partner time to think about whether they would like to try it or not. ‌

Make Plans

Once you and your partner have decided to try phone sex, make some plans. The best way to have a phone sex is to plan so you can make sure your phone (and any toys) are charged and can last as long as you do. This also allows anticipation so you can talk about how you've been thinking about this all day.

Setting the Scene

Before calling your partner:

1. Set the scene for yourself.
2. Do whatever you can to make your environment distraction-free and sexy.
3. Have a glass of water and blankets nearby.
4. Add whatever makes your domain feel more sexy — candles and dim lights are a classic choice.

Is It Still a Good Time?

Ask for consent at the beginning of every call. Even if your partner was initially OK with phone sex, actually beginning the conversation may change their mind. 

Also, make sure they're in a private place. Even if you've already made plans, life happens, so it's good to double-check that they're not at the grocery store or enjoying a surprise visit from grandma. 

Keep the Conversation Going

Fear of "the awkward pause" has likely kept many couples from exploring the fun of phone sex. However, the benefits outweigh the risks. We have a few ideas for what to say during phone sex. 

Ice Breakers

Here are a few go-to starters to begin a sexy conversation: ‌

• Where are you? 
• What are you wearing? 
• Can I read you something? (Have an erotic passage lined up.)
• What do you want me to do to you?
• What do you want to do to me?‌

Asking one of these questions is a great way to kick off a sexy conversation. 

Respond to Your Partner

Please keep the conversation going by responding enthusiastically to what your partner says and jumping in after they're done speaking. A simple "Mmm" or "Oh, yes" lets your partner know that you are listening and like what they're saying. 

Take It Easy

The way to have phone sex is not to take it too seriously. This isn't a high-stakes affair: it's just a chance to be intimate when you wouldn't be able to otherwise. It's OK to laugh. 

The Debrief

When you and your partner have both climaxed, don't just hang up the phone. Tell them how much you enjoyed your time together. If you're comfortable doing so, get in touch after a call to see what worked for them and what didn't. Ask about their favorite words and least favorite words to describe their body.

Adult Sex Toys

Phone sex wouldn't be complete without the sexy moans from masturbation. And nothing makes this better than a good toy. We have a few recommendations to spice up your next phone call. 

Love Breeze

The Love Breeze is an air pulse clitoral stimulator. It's portable and USB chargeable, making it a go-to if you're on the road and staying in a hotel. 

G-Gasm Curve

The G-Gasm Curve is perfect for recreating the feeling of being with a partner. Designed to hit the G-spot just right, it can make it feel like your partner is right there with you. 

Rotating G Rabbit

Get G-Spot and clitoral stimulation in one toy with the Rotating G Rabbit. This is a great multitasker that you don't need eight hands to use. It also features a heating element, suggesting your partner's warmth. 

Mega Bator

For folks with a penis, the Mega Bator is an ideal toy for phone sex convenience. This toy allows you to be completely hands-free while doing all the work for you. Focus on your partner's voice. 

Mega Milker

The Mega Milker mimics the feel of natural skin and comes with multiple stroking modes. This toy allows you to use the automated method or take matters into your own hands. 

Conclusion

If you find yourself far away from your partner, phone sex can help maintain intimacy. Whether you are traveling or in a long-distance relationship, phone sex is a beautiful way to stay in touch, think about each other, and show you care. 

Sources:

Let's talk about sexting, baby: Computer-mediated sexual behaviors among young adults. (September 2013). Computers in Human Behavior.