We're living in a golden age of sex tech. From sensual ticklers to remote-controlled rabbit vibrators, a bevy of toys is available for the curious buyer. But even with this bounty of pleasure-inducing playthings, one sex-related pastime still reigns supreme — the sensual massage.
Massages are anything but modern. Humans discovered the healing power of sensual touch thousands of years ago and never looked back.
Erotic touch can spark a connection between you and your body, mind, and partner in a way that transcends typical sex.
Curious about how to give a sensual body massage? Let's get tantric.
What Is a Sensual Massage?
You're likely familiar with the typical massage, where a trained professional systematically works through pressure points to relieve tension. An erotic massage focuses on the erogenous zones.
A sensual massage can encompass slow and deliberate motions, body-to-body contact, sensation play, and targeted stimulation to sensitive areas. You can also expect calming or arousing scents from candles or massage oils — some of which are edible — ambient lighting and music.
Rub Them the Right Way
Giving a sensual massage properly depends on what your partner is looking for. You'll be thrilled to learn that there are a handful of different types of sexual massage practices out there.
There's the tantric massage for those who like to interlink their sexuality and spirituality. Drawing on the principles of tantra's ancient Eastern spiritual practice, this style revolves around energy and breath. The masseuse focuses on the entire body, paying particular attention to the penis and vulva areas.
A tantra massage can involve meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork to remove any tension that hinders sexual and spiritual wellness. Orgasms aren't necessarily the goal with this one.
Lingam and Yoni Massage
For a more honed-in tantric experience, try lingam or yoni massage. This bodywork centers on honoring the sacred spaces of genitalia. Lingam focuses on the penis and prostate, while yoni is for all you vagina owners out there. Expect pleasure to be the focal point with the possibility of orgasm.
Japanese for "slippery" the word "nuru" is a massage type that involves body-to-body contact and is completely covered with massage oil. The giver lies across the naked body of the recipient to work in as much physical contact as possible. You can see how this one can easily lead to sexy time.
Happy Ending Massage
Happy ending massages begin as a full body massage and end with particular care paid to the penis or vagina. Regardless of the techniques used, the provider initiates a sex act that climaxes the recipient.
Four Hands Massage
Who says massages have to be limited to two people? Two masseuses get busy working on the recipient in a four-hands massage. It includes lots of oil and long, deliberate strokes. Body-to-body massage isn't off the table either. If you love a visual feast, this one is a great choice, as watching two people massage you can be quite an optical adventure.
Just like it sounds, a prostate massage stimulates the prostate to release pressure and lower stress and inhibitions. It can start externally at the perineum — the spot between the anus and the scrotum — and slowly lead inside the anus.
A prostate massage can foster a deep connection and pairs perfectly with a bit of lingam thrown in for good measure. This is also an excellent opportunity to incorporate a toy or two.
Read the Room
You don't need a sprawling space or spare room to provide a scintillating sensual massage. Just take a few things into account, and you'll be good to go.
Bright lights hardly help you relax, so opt for dim lighting. You'll still need enough to see what you're doing — consider using a dimmer switch, string lights, or lighting a few candles.
Nobody appreciates being naked and cold. Turn up the heat, bring in a space heater, or at the very least close the windows and keep a few blankets around.
Unwinding is the name of the game, so be generous with pillows, cushions, silky blankets, and anything else you can use to lie down and prop up body parts comfortably.
Sounds and scents
You're trying to engage all the senses here, so queue up a relaxing, sextastic playlist. And since you'll likely be incorporating candles or incense, there's no reason not to use ones with sexy scents. Rose, vanilla, citrus, and mint are all arousing, sensuous smells backed by science.
To make your partner's massage dreams come true, you're going to need a few accessories.
Massage oil or lotion is a non-negotiable one. Depending on the type of massage, you might also want to bring in a towel or old sheet. And there's no reason to let your hands do all the work — prostate and body massagers, anal toys, and massage candles can all take things to the next level.
Touch and Go
So you've got everything set up, and you're ready to give this a try. All you need now is to nail down a few techniques. Here's how to give a sensual massage.
Kick things off with light, lingering touches. You can begin with erogenous zones like the feet, scalp, neck, belly, or small of the back, but don't go straight to the genitals. Eventually, your touch will become firmer, but try not to press too hard. Hitting a sweet spot between the two will make your partner feel reassured and comfortable. You can also use other textures for light sensation play, like a feather or silk handkerchief.
Take the time to apply massage oil or lotion deliberately. This will help warm your partner up and get their motor running with anticipation. Please keep your fingers relaxed and palms flat as you cover the natural curves of their body. Use broad strokes, compression, rotation, and kneading slowly and interchangeably for glowing results.
Use Your Thumbs and Fingertips
Tracing your subject's body with your fingertips, grazing their neck or inner wrists, and running your hands through their hair can be subtle yet powerful. As you work deeper into the muscles, use your thumbs to press, knead and roll. Create a continuous rolling motion to work out tension and knots on the back, legs, and shoulders.
Notice Cues and Communicate
Giving an excellent sensual massage also depends on paying attention to how your partner's body responds to certain sensations and touches. Listen for verbal cues and check in with them using a low, soft voice.
If you're transitioning from a sensual massage to sex, try beginning with a full body massage before shifting to a lingam or yoni massage. You could also work your way to a happy ending, stopping short of actually producing an orgasm. Known as edging, this technique will drive your partner wild.
If you've mounted your beloved for better control while massaging, you can involve your pleasurable parts as you turn the heat up. Allow your bodily movements to send a message while your hands keep rubbing.
That's the Rub
An erotic massage turns nonverbal communication into an art form. Performing a sensual massage well is partly about technique and passion and connection.
Looking to level up your massage game? Here are some of the best accessories from Peachwood:
- Tantric Massage Candle Pomegranate
- Earthly Body Earthly Body Edible Massage Oil Mango
- We-Vibe Vector Rechargeable Silicone Vibrating Prostate Massager with Remote Control
- Fetish Fantasy Series Feather Crop
- Magic Wand Original
- Fetish Fantasy Series Limited Edition Vibrating Silicone Nipple Teazers
- Dona Massage Lotion Sinful Spring
- Fuzu Massage Candle Warm Vanilla
- Rouge Five Pinwheel Stainless Steel
- Pipedream Sex Therapy Kit for Lovers
What Is Sexual Massage?. (January 2020). WebMD.
What Is Tantric Massage? 7 Ways To Try It At Home. (August 2020). MindBodyGreen.
These Are The Sexiest Scents, According To Science. (July 2018). Women's Health.
How to give your partner a super hot erotic massage. (February 2019). Cosmopolitan.
How To Give A Sensual Massage She'll Never Forget. (January 2021). Menprovement.