Those well-versed in BDSM know this erotic practice well. It's a perfect way to test out dom-sub dynamics between partners. Considered intermediate to advanced, wax play melds pleasure with pain. When done properly and safely, it can be a thrilling experience. Done wrong, and you can get burned — literally and figuratively.
What Is Wax Play?
Wax play basically involves sensually dripping hot wax over the bare skin of your sexual partner. It can be done during foreplay, massage, and sex. But what seems simple on the outside is actually very nuanced. If you've reached for that candle on the nightstand only to stop and think, "Wait, can you use normal candles for wax play?" then you've already realized there's more to it than meets the eye.
At its heart, wax play is about experimenting with sensation and temperature. Get it right, and you can explore sensual intimacy, arousal, and the excitement of the edge.
What Goes on During Wax Play?
There are so many tantalizing scenarios when it comes to wax play that it would be impossible to list them all. But typically, you or your partner will light a candle or use a warmer to get a pool of wax going. Then, drip away.
Some like to play around by involving additional toys or using a blindfold. Doms can also experiment with different wax removal techniques, slowly peeling off hardened wax from certain erogenous zones.
You can even use multiple colors to create a masterpiece on your SO's body. Know that the world is your oyster and creativity is encouraged. That being said, there are still a few things you can usually expect:
It's Gonna Be Hot
This one is a given. If you're the submissive, get ready for a shock, arousal, sensitivity, and a flash of pain. The tension of wondering where and when the wax is going to hit is all part of the fun. As the wax cools, you'll feel relief and a slight tingling or itching sensation depending on the area affected.
Some Spots Are Off-Limits
Here is where communication is key. Have a chat with your partner beforehand about areas that are a no-go for each of you. These should include the face, the eyes, open wounds, and any genitalia. Wax should not be entering anyone’s body.
On the other hand, some areas are a delight to explore. Starting with the neck and shoulders or feet is an excellent way to go. These erogenous zones are easy to drip over and a pleasure to massage after the fact. You might also target the inner thighs, stomach, back of the knees, chest, lower back, and more.
Use this communication as an opportunity to establish a safe word. You can also put in any special requests — and pray you get your wish.
Sober Is Sexy
We know alcohol can lower inhibitions, but wax play is not the time for that. Just like with any other BDSM situation, you need to have a clear head so you can stay attentive to your partner and your bodily responses. Drinking alcohol lowers your pain threshold, too, which is a recipe for disaster.
What Candles Are Best for Wax Play?
It's time to pick your poison. The most important thing to note is that not all candles are created equal. Depending on the ingredients, some can get extremely hot — and not the kind of hot you want. They can scorch and scar skin.
Are soy candles safe for wax play?
Given their prevalence in many households, this is a common question. Lucky for you, the answer is yes.
There are scores of massage candles created specifically for wax play to take all the guesswork out of what's safe to use. Both soy and paraffin melt at skin-safe levels. Soy also happens to be rich in vitamin E, stays liquified for extended periods, and is soft, so it's perfect for massaging into the skin. The drawback is that it can be too soft, making cleanup a pain. Paraffin has a slightly higher melting point, perfect for more advanced play.
There are also some waxes and candle types you should avoid at all costs. Steer clear of:
- Beeswax: With a higher melting point than soy and paraffin, beeswax can cause burns and blistering.
- Candles with dyes and additives: Certain dyes, oils, scents, and chemicals can raise melting temperatures to unsafe levels. They can also irritate your skin.
- Stearin: This additive makes wax burn at incredibly hot temperatures and should be avoided.
- Metallic or glitter candles: Though they may look pretty, these can burn skin to the point of scarring.
- Microcrystalline wax: This wax burns at temperatures much too hot for your skin.
Top Selling Candles on Peachwood
Looking for accessories to help with your wax play adventures? Here are our top five favorites.Heat up your intimate pleasures and reach new heights of intimacy with these outstanding products infused with nature`s own attractant, pheromones.
A romance-inspiring candle, silky smooth massage oil, and moisturizer in one, Fuzu’s Massage Candles offer a downright delectable treat to sensual souls. Made with simple, natural ingredients that nourish and moisturize the skin while adding a dreamily smooth, friction-free glide to hands-on touch, the melty, indulgent scent, and ultra-silky feel helps soothe away stress and tension.Fragrant Natural Soy-Oil Massage Candle burns longer and cleaner! Melts into a warming, silky massage oil that penetrates and moisturizes skin.
Melt All Your Stress Away. For getting intimate and close, this rich and sensuous candle offers a massage oil and an aroma that’s perfect for romantic nights in.
Made from all-natural soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil, the lightly scented wax melts into an exquisite pool of luxurious massage oil.
Preparing for Wax Play
You're almost ready to dive into the wonderful world of wax play. But first, there are a few more important things to consider.
When setting up your sensual oasis, ensure there is nothing flammable around you. Place a bucket of water, wet towel, or fire extinguisher within reach in case things get too heated. Have a first aid kit close by as well. If you're fond of your sheets, you might want to lay down some plastic or another type of barrier.
Place your candles on a flat surface where you'll have no trouble reaching them. Make sure you have matches or a lighter and hair ties to pull back long hair. Cover piercings, too. Any extra toys — like blindfolds, whips, or restraints — should also be at close at hand.
Next, prep your skin for what's to come. To make heat radiate and wax removal easier, massage the submissive with oil. This is especially important for hairy areas. You can skip this step if the sting of removal is part of your pleasure, but body hair should still be avoided, shaved, or oiled up beforehand. This gives you a chance to set the erotic tone while you wait for the wax to melt.
Come on Baby, Light My Fire
You can use wax play in any way you like, whether that's during foreplay or actual sex, so long as you're prepared. Maneuvering a candle during penetrative sex isn't always advisable, which is why some prefer to use wax melters and special brushes for application.
Once you're ready, if you're the dominant, drip a small amount of wax on your wrist to test it. Then it's time to try it on your sub. Keep lines of communication open as you explore their body. Start from a higher distance to give the wax time to cool on its way to the skin. As the distance you drip from gets closer, the sting becomes more intense.
Here are a few more general tips and techniques:
- Use pillar or cup candles for better pooling and control.
- Blow the flame out before dripping the wax, especially with glass candles.
- Use ice cubes for sensational temperature play and to harden wax for removal.
- Toy around with rubbing, peeling, layering, and making patterns.
- Try flogging dried wax off with a whip.
- With your partner's head turned away, charge the lighter without lighting the candle to create anticipation.
- Scrape or lift wax off with a dull knife or fingernails.
- Use a feather to tickle between breasts before adding a slow drip of wax.
- Kiss one body part while dribbling wax on another.
- Use a finger or prostate massager in the anus while letting wax trickle over the buttocks.
Wax on, Wax Off
Once you've finished, how to clean up after wax play isn't complicated. If you've prepared the area with plastic, puppy pads, or old sheets this part should be easy.
If you've used nourishing massage oil, the wax will absorb into your skin. Feel free to rub it into your partner to soothe and relax them. You can use a damp towel to wipe off excess.
There's no problem with hopping in the shower and washing up. Afterward, gently apply aloe vera or soothing cream on any areas that contact wax. The dominant can do this for the submissive. This intimate touch can help you segue into your wind-down, using plenty of reassurance, cuddles, and conversation.
Wax play can be an extremely erotic and tantalizing experience if you do it right. When you prioritize communication and respect for boundaries, you prioritize unrestrained pleasure. And that's something anyone can enjoy.
An Introduction to Wax Play (And How to Stay Safe). (February 2021). HelloFlo.
Dripping With Care - Learn About BDSM Wax Play. (February 2021). Lovense Blog.
Everything You Need to Know About Wax Play. (February 2021). Cosmopolitan.
Kinky Crash Course: Wax Play. (February 2021). Kinky Sprinkles.
What Is Wax Play? The Not-Too-Kinky Act Will Heat Up Any Sex Life. (February 2021). Women's Health.