Ah, sex. Isn't it great? And isn't great sex even better? No matter what deity you pray to (or not), it is great to give thanks and praise for creating sex as a vital, integral part of our lives.
All sex, however, is not created equal. There is some terrible sex happening on this planet. Chances are, you may have engaged in some of it. And while terrible sex does get the necessary job done — procreation and the continuation of our species — that can't be the sole reason we were given the capacity to fornicate.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed! It is meant to be explored, thought about, experimented with, evaluated, poked, and prodded. However, what seems to make it difficult for some to achieve great sex is that there isn't a one-size-fits-all (pun intended!) solution. A recent study proves that point — the women reported diverse preferences for genital touch location, pressure, shape, and pattern.
Let's talk about what makes for great sex and, specifically, what sex position feels best for women.
First Things First: Communication
As with any healthy relationship, amazing sex starts with solid communication. You have to be in tune with what your partner wants, likes, and looks for. Try to establish a clear understanding about what gets her off — and just as importantly — what doesn't. Research has shown that women who communicate to their partners about sex have orgasms at vastly higher rates than those who don't. This is crucial if you want to know what sex position is best for women.
Communication doesn't have to be secretly coded. It can be as simple as:
- What do you like about sex?
- Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration? Or both?
- Do you want to start with foreplay, or do you jump right in?
- What positions do you enjoy having sex in?
Once you've established what your woman likes, you can begin to explore new and different things. According to Dr. Jennifer Landa, having an interest in testing out new positions can spice things up and make a big difference in her pleasure and arousal.
While each woman is different and enjoys the experience of sex in different ways, there are some tried and true positions that you should give a shot to and see if it works for you and your woman.
What Makes For a Good Sex Position For Women
If you've come this far, you're probably wondering what the best sex position is for women.
In his book,She Comes First, sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner explains that the best way to make a woman orgasm is to focus on the clitoris and within the first few inches of the vaginal canal. He writes:
"The first third of the vaginal canal is most pleasure-prone as it is enmeshed in the clitoral structures. So, interspersing slow, shallow, deep strokes are bound for their pleasure. Additionally, some pressure against the cervix also lights up the somatosensory cortex in the brain, along with clitoral and nipple stimulation."
What the good doctor is saying, in other words, is that the best sex position to help her orgasm has to include a consistent stimulation of the clitoris, a combination of shallow and deep vaginal penetrations, and a little nipple squeezing. Let's take a deeper dive into the best sex positions for women.
What Is the Best Sex Position for Women?
There are hundreds of different positions that you can try with your partner. Women's Health Magazine identifies what sex positions feel the best for women.
The CAT Position
You are starting off laying down and face-to-face with your partner, the male positions himself about six inches higher up the bed than the female. This allows for the stem of the penis to apply pressure to the clitoris when thrusting.
The male can either hold himself up by his hands or elbows or rest his hands on her breasts for added pressure and stimulation. The male can also experiment with different leg positions, either inside or outside the female's legs.
The Free-As-Air Position (also known as Reverse-Cowgirl)
Please start with the male lying on his back. The female faces his feet and sits down on his penis. She then gradually lowers herself backward, so she's lying on his chest.
This position is excellent because the clitoris and breasts are pointing upwards and fully exposed. The possibilities for hand and toy stimulation here are endless!
The Pinner Position (also known as the Laying-Down Dog)
The female starts by lying face down on her stomach. The male lays on top of her and penetrates her vagina from behind.
While similar to doggy-style, the sensation and pressure this angle creates are entirely different. The penis can go much deeper into the vagina, with a high likelihood of hitting the G-spot.
Clitoral stimulation with a hand or toy is also quickly done from this position.
The Spooning Position
The female lies on her side, and the male curls around behind her in the spoon position, penetrating her from behind. This position allows for the penis to also penetrate deeply, and hands are free for breast and clitoral stimulation.
Give these four positions a go the next time you and your lady get busy, and see if you have figured out what sex position feels best for women.
Should a Woman Orgasm Every Time with These Positions?
Another misconception about great sex is that it must end in orgasm. While that, of course, is a highly desired goal of sexual intercourse — and let's be honest, men have orgasms at a much higher frequency — it doesn't necessarily have to occur for it to be considered significant.
A satisfactory outcome can be that you're physically close and intimate with your partner. Losing yourself in the moment, lying naked and entwined with another human body, can be enough.
And sometimes, it just doesn't happen, and that is OK. A significant component of achieving an orgasm is mental — your mind or hers could be somewhere else due to stress at work or in other aspects of life.
Stressing out about reaching orgasm can also have negative consequences. Just let it flow, and if it happens, then great! But don't let it ruin an otherwise wonderful, intimate moment with your partner if it doesn't happen.
Be Her Cowboy
Great sex is not a mystery only obtainable by a select few. But it's not just handed to you either. It takes work, effort, and sensitivity to your partner's needs. At the top of that list is clear, compelling, and honest communication. If you can get that right, and respond accordingly to her words and body, be ready for some fantastic rides.
Oh, and don't forget the cowboy hat!
With a Little Help From Your Friends
One of the best ways to enhance the chances of reaching that delicious climax is to have some friends to help along the way (shout out to the swingers out there, but here we are explicitly talking about inanimate "friends" — sex toys). Here are some of our recommendations for toys to help you accomplish reaching that female orgasm:
Trust us, and the nipples thing is for real! These clips do a fantastic job of holding on tight and delivering pleasure that is sure to make her toes curl.
Take clit stimulation to the next level with this fun little toy. Just strap it around your penis, turn it on, and let it do the rest. Ensure that it's in contact with her clitoris to ensure maximum satisfaction!
If she enjoys, or you think she might be curious to explore the wonders of the other entrance, these anal beads are a sure-fire way to get her hot and wet.
This little pocket rocket is easy and versatile to use. Please turn it on and gently place it on her clitoris to watch the fireworks fly!
This remote-controlled sensation is guaranteed to get her going. Enjoy watching her go up and down as you play with the different speed settings.
Have you ever thought about a bit of rough-play? This crop is the perfect beginner toy to begin smacking that rump with something other than your hand.
If you're ready to crank your BDSM kink up a notch, this rubber paddle will take you there!
This hands-free clitoral stimulator is sure to please. Comfortable and easy to use, watch her get extra pleasure as she rides you.
If you want her dripping wet even before you get naked, have her slip these naughty undies on and get her vibrating while still at the restaurant!
Why should she have all the fun? Use this delicious blowjob simulator to get your friend up and running before you dive into her.
Sexual Communication: The Bedrock to Make Your Bed Rock. (December 2017). Psychology Today.
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. (February 2004). Dr. Ian Kerner.
Head Case. (June 2004). New York Mag
How to Shake Things up in the Bedroom. (January 2013). Dr. Jennifer Landa.
These 4 Positions Make Female Orgasm Way Easier During Sex. (March 2021). Women's Health Magazine.
Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94. (July 2017). Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.